Identify Enabling and Provoking behaviors- Brief summary
Enabling: Behavior that protects the alcoholic or addict from the consequences of drinking or drug use.
1. Making excuses for problems caused by drinking or drug use.
2. Pretending to accept the alcoholic’s excuses simply to avoid conflict.
3. Protecting the alcoholic from potential crises associated with drinking, such as:
a. Taking care of him or her physically
b. Bailing him or her out of legal or financial problems
c. Allowing him or her to move into your home when drinking or drug use has created a crisis elsewhere
d. Hiding alcohol or drug involvement from employers or other authority figures.
4. Providing financial or other support so that the addict doesn’t have to shoulder the normal responsibilities of adulthood.
5. Seeking advice from friends and counselors, then failing to follow through with it.
Provoking: Behavior that directly encourages drinking or drug use by an addict.
1. Nagging, throwing out alcohol or drugs, picking useless arguments about alcohol or drug use.
2. Allowing yourself to believe in the promises the addict makes, then getting angry when you discover he or she doesn’t keep them.
3. Punishing the addict for drug use withholding sex, money, affection, etc. rather than addressing the underlying issue of addiction.
4. Manipulating others against the alcoholic so as to isolate him or her and create a state of “war” within the family.
5. Precipitating an argument when the alcoholic is intoxicated, bringing on a conflict that results in actual abuse or in more drinking.
6. Drinking with an alcoholic. Using drugs with an addict.
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